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Charlie don’t surf

6 May

What a beautiful day. We all hit the beach, except for the Monster Highs, and surfing was attempted. I had to sit this one out as my wound is not quite healed enough to risk it opening up again due to some over enthusiastic wipe-out, doc reckons by the end of the week I should be back in the game. So, I sat and watched as The Monkey ripped it up – being light and highly mobile does have its advantages – and the nerds crashed and burned. Everyone had a great time, we are BBQing on the beach and the Monster Highs have just joined us – they are much happier out of bright sunlight and I am trying to work out whether it is because they are ghouls or they don’t want a tan to ruin their Goth image! Still, good to have them here now. Sausages and burgers are always better on the beach washed down with Rattler.

Good to chill for a bit and let off some steam. Tomorrow The Monkey wants to take a jump through the black hole to do a quick recce and I think the Monster Highs are going to go with him to mess up any sensors that might be spying. He promises it will be a very quick look as he just wants to get a feel for what the surrounding area is like.

But now if I’m not mistaken, I can see a human pyramid taking shape and even the girls are joining in…


7 May

Well – The Monkey went in with Monster Highs in tow and came out again two hours later dusty but none the worse for wear. He says that there is nothing around for miles, and they did go for a bit of a stroll to make sure. They found a few sensor posts which the girls messed with in their own special way and tyre tracks but no buildings or anything else, except, on a distant range of hills they could see the outline of what they think might be a transmitter tower. No real details as they were viewing it against a starlit sky but definitely a tower of some sort. Could be a place to start but The Monkey says that we aren’t going to be quickly in and out when we get there, not without transport. This has begun a whole new train of thought…


8 May

So, consensus seems to be that we get motorbikes and ride them through the black hole into Area 51… Doesn’t matter how many times I hear that sentence it still gives me the biggest grin!

We are going to buy two trials bikes, take them up into the spare room and then ride them into a black hole – holy shit! Nope – still grinning. I will ride one with The Monkey as pillion and one of the nerds will ride the other with a Monster High as pillion. This will allow us to disrupt sensors and lay down covering fire. Tony had suggested Segways as being quieter, but The Monkey told him to fuck right off just before I had the chance to. They might be quiet, but they are nowhere near as fast or as cool.

Right, I have just ordered the bikes, and I see the doc tomorrow for a final check-up, so the next adventure is on the cards.


9 May

We have had debates until the early hours of the morning about why the black hole is pointing at Area 51 and the only thing we can agree on is that if the gateway controlled by the monkey temple is an ancient one then if it points to that place in the Nevada desert there must have been something there a long time ago to draw the energy to that point. There is a second argument that, as our black hole was created by The Monkey, maybe it responds to need – the need of The Monkey – so perhaps there is something there that he requires. 

Needless to say, all of these debates have been fuelled by alcohol and have included drunken fights and a couple of arm wrestling matches, the most memorable of which was when one of the girls beat all three nerds one after another! I have noticed that the nerds have now started exercising but the more I learn about the Monster Highs the more I am convinced that even if the boys start taking steroids they are still going to lose…


10 May

Signed off by the doc. Hurray! Although, he has advised me to ease myself gently back into physical activity…

Spent the afternoon combat training with the nerds as The Monkey cast an expert eye over the proceedings. That little scuffle with the Oakley Kid in Thailand opened my eyes to just how out of shape and practice I have got so plenty of sparring and bag work and The Monkey throwing in the military close quarter combat side of it.

Knackered now. We have all crashed out in the living room to watch 300 for the three hundredth time and rehydrate with JD – the only real sports drink you need…

Just noticed how the Monster Highs are staring at 300 – they are almost drooling, and it’s not at the fit Spartans. No, they really are salivating at the piles of dead bodies…


11 May

Ooh, sore today but back for more training. Kev is not bad and learns quick, and he can ride a bike so it looks like he has drawn the short straw and gets to go with us. 

We have spent much of the afternoon cleaning and checking guns. The Monkey wants to do some shooting tomorrow to make sure we have all got our shit together, so that should be fun. We are now having a nice group craft session in the living room as we learn to make pipe bombs to take with us.

The nerds have found a video on YouTube of a chimp riding a Segway accompanied by an annoying theme tune. Fairly amusing but I fear it may wear thin quickly.

I was right about the chimp and Segway video. After it had been played about fifty times The Monkey no longer saw the funny side and threatened to choke out the next person who played it or sang the song. Tony had an early bath…


12 May

A day of rainy, muddy, shooting at make-shift targets in the woods. Got a lot of gun cleaning to do again. The Monkey is happy though and we have quite a stash of pipe bombs.

Now for a drink…

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