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Hen party

20 May

Johno ended up going off with two women from a hen party – fair play. We guess he will come back for his Barbarian when he has finished shrinking their heads or whatever passes for fun with him!

This has left us pondering the idea of taking over a patrol. It would need to be at night, or at least dusk for the Monster Highs, and there are less of those patrols. It would also need to be a patrol with its own transport not one just dropped off. The Monkey has been back through again this morning to plant a few claymores in a gully area to the south of the black hole and he says that there were no patrols in the immediate vicinity but he could see lights out in the desert to the east. It is more than likely that they have spread their search pattern out in that direction as they can’t find anything else in the area where we just disappeared into thin air…


21 May

All of us sat for hours staring through the black hole and at the nerds monitoring devises. No patrols came anywhere near. Oh, they were out there but too far away for us to get at them quickly and quietly. In the end we started taking shifts to watch but we are all still knackered – lots of adrenalin with no place to go just wipes you out!

The Barbarian is still parked down the road. Johno must have become a feature of the hen party or he has got himself thrown in jail for drunk and disorderly…


23 May

Right, we have had enough of waiting. The Monkey went through again this morning and hid some little strobe lights in a dip in the desert floor about 200 meters to the west of the black hole. We are going to wait until tomorrow morning when we pick up one of their night patrols in suitable proximity and then set off the strobes to attract them to the dip. Then it’s game on and we are going to the compound no matter what.

A friend of ours in town phoned this evening and asked if we knew a South African bloke. He had found Johno sitting in the sand dunes at the back of one of the beaches. Just sitting and staring. And he has puncture wounds on his neck. I said we would come and pick him up. I explained what had happened to the others and the Monster Highs laughed and said what did he expect if he went off with vampires? Vampires? They clarified by saying that the women he had gone off with were vampires – hadn’t we realised? We all looked at each other and agreed that we hadn’t. They say that at least 10% of the supposed hen parties in town are made up of vamps – it’s an easy way for them to hunt. So why had they not warned Johno or at least given us a heads up? Well, they didn’t particularly like Johno, and they knew the women wouldn’t kill him, and they hadn’t realised that we didn’t see through the glamour they were putting out.

Me and The Monkey are going to pick up Johno and I have said that when we get back we need to have a serious conversation about exactly what is wandering around out there…


24 May

Taking out the patrol went like clockwork and within half an hour we were heading back towards the compound in an armoured Humvee with some new toys to play with. Felt a bit sorry for the patrol, they were obviously just hired grunts who were doing a glorified security job but there you go…

Not much radio chatter so we just rolled back in and they waved us through, the night vision goggles that we were all wearing covered enough face to keep us anonymous. We swung through a double row of gates and pulled up beside one of the low concrete buildings. The whole place was pretty well lit so we just decided to bluff it out, although we could no longer hide behind the night vision kit the stolen uniforms helped us blend in especially with the fog type thing that the Monster Highs can do, just enough to make it hard for anyone to really stare at us.

It was immediately obvious that the people we had seen in the separated areas of the compound weren’t soldiers. They looked more like zoo animals. They stood, or sat, or lay, many of them paced around exhibiting symptoms of stress like caged wild animals do. They looked malnourished and haunted and it reminded me of photos taken in concentration camps by the Russian forces as they swept across eastern Europe at the end of World War 2. We got close to one of the smaller enclosures and a dishevelled young man standing just the other side of the wire spoke to us ‘Kill me please’ he said without taking his eyes from the night sky. As we moved quickly on, others also took up the pitiful chant begging for death. It had attracted the attention of the guards on the perimeter, and the team of lab coats who were doing the rounds of the cages. The Monkey motioned us back towards the buildings and our Humvee and our Monster High increased the glamour to give us more cover but now the eyes of all the inmates were fixed on us and their demands became louder and louder. It was difficult not to break into a run, but we got back into the area in front of the buildings with no one challenging us.

At this point I looked up at the only two-story building in the compound and at the lighted window, and there was the smiling freak from the airport in Thailand, Arno Whitaker, looking directly at us and grinning like a loon. As I watched he gabbled something to others in the room although he didn’t take his eyes off us. Other, military faces joined him at the window and there was a lot of puzzled looks, but the freak obviously got his point over and all of a sudden an alarm went off and everyone started running. We bolted for the Humvee and made it just as the cage doors clicked open and the ‘inmates’ came out. They had changed. They no longer looked like tortured animals, now they had a focused look and that look was turned on us. Then they began to run, and I mean run. What went through my head was scenes from the film 28 Days and as we fumbled to get into the vehicle I could see The Monkey cocking the assault rifle he had taken from the patrol. We got the engine started as they reached us and began to clamber over the vehicle. I threw it into reverse and hit a few of them as I swung it in a wide arc to face the gates. For a moment I sat horrified. Not all of the lab coats had made it to safety, and I saw at least three cornered by a fence. The inmates didn’t tear them to pieces like some zombie movie, they beat them down with precision and I watched one get choked out from behind as if they were all highly trained martial artists. One thing was for sure – the lab coats weren’t ever getting up again.

I smashed the Humvee through the gates and accelerated into the desert. I swear I could see the smile of that fucker like some massive Cheshire Cat in the window as I glanced in the side mirror. Then Kev was screaming about the towers and I saw massive arching flashes of lightning begin to run around the perimeter of the compound. The Monkey looked at me and said, ‘They’re to keep them in!’ and it was immediately obvious. The inmates had all halted at the wire and suddenly the alarm stopped, and they all began to mill aimlessly around, some even dropped to the floor in obvious distress. Vehicles began to stream out of another gate, and we started to hear bullets pinging off the Humvee’s armour. And the race back began.

We knew we couldn’t dump the Humvee right by the black hole so I did a drive by and Kev and Monster High jumped then Me and The Monkey drove back to the gully at the south and left the vehicle going as we leapt out and ran like fuck back to the others. It seemed like seconds before the chasing vehicles came roaring past and down into the gully and then The Monkey set off the claymores and the night got very bright and bloody. We came back through the black hole as dawn was breaking and The Monkey told the nerds to close it up, so they turned on their net thing again and the desert image faded to a ghostly shadow.

Damn it, what the fuck was that?

Kev is rocking in the corner – he is still not a happy bunny. The Monster Highs have been trying to calm him down with some of their mad mind stuff but even they are having a hard job. That spooked the fuck out of us all. Even the girls are shaking their pretty heads – there is something very, very wrong with what they are doing to the inmates in that compound. Going to need a stiff drink to shut off the images of those staring faces and that grinning lunatic…


25 May

We have spent the day massaging our wounded minds. Still too shocked about yesterday to try to make sense out of it. Kev has spent the day in bed, I think we had all forgotten that on top of everything else he had never seen combat before, and there was a lot of blood.

Johno is beginning to come round again. He is massively confused, and it might take some time to get a sensible conversation out of him. In lieu of therapy we are pouring alcohol down him and ourselves – doesn’t make you forget, just takes the edge off it… 


26 May

It’s a bank holiday weekend and the sun is shining and no one was in the mood to celebrate – except maybe Johno who doesn’t have the slightest idea what has been going on and is wandering around in a strangely euphoric daze. 

We checked out what was happening on the other side of the black hole this morning and there has been a lot of activity in the surrounding area. Helicopters have been in and out and armoured patrols have been scouring the desert. There has obviously been much clearing up of the mess we made but I do get the feeling that they don’t really care about the men who died, more about the fact that we discovered their compound and got away seemingly into thin air.

The Monkey has been in touch with the Green and Red Society to try and get some advice and they have gone away to have a think and do whatever Mao Shan sorcerers do. Until we get some feedback we need to cool our jets. I have had to talk The Monkey down from going back through the black hole in burning monkey god mode and laying waste to whatever comes across his path. I keep reiterating the fact that we have a door into Area 51 for a reason and that reason must be more than just killing the fuck out of a load of things. Mustn’t it?


Finally, we have got down to the beach for a BBQ. I think it will do us all good to be out of the house for a while. Even the Monster Highs are here before the sun has gone down -with very large hats it has to be said. Kev looks a bit haunted still, but the other nerds are doing a good job of geeing him up. Johno has come down with us and we have got him ferrying beer from the shop down to the beach while we get the BBQ going so, we can burn some meat in a manly fashion. The Monkey is smoking a cigar and building a massive sandcastle with the Monster Highs while I spray lighter fluid about and use his Zippo to try and get the charcoal burning…

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