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Spear of the Sun

5 August

London…

Trains are funny. You can get drunk while travelling at speed. Some of the other passengers in first class didn’t appreciate the loud, swearword-based game of Travel Scrabble we played for much of the five-hour journey – bless. They can think themselves lucky that we didn’t bring Twister.

We got to Paddington and joined the mass of grumpy bastards going about their daily grumpiness and the hordes of wide-eyed tourists trying frantically not to miss anything. Then we got the tube down to Tower Hill and checked into the Double Tree just around the corner from the station. The Prof and the Nerds all reckon that anything worth looking for is probably going to be in the Tower of London hence our choice of hotel location. Plan is to go there early tomorrow morning before it gets too busy and have a scout around and see if the finger points at anything. Then, if there is anything, we will make some sort of plan to go back later. I have no real idea what that means…

As for now we are going to find somewhere for a quiet drink…

6 August

Yes, we did Stringfellows – man, it never ceases to amaze me how much money you can blow on twins – and a bunch of other boozers and clubs around Covent Garden. No, we didn’t get up early and go to the Tower. It was mid-afternoon when we finally had our acts together enough to get down to the Tower and stand in line with the tourists and shuffle zombiefied through the medieval structure. We had decided that I should carry the monkey finger so that The Monkey wouldn’t catch fire and give the game away, so I held it loosely in my pocket so that I could feel if it moved.

Nothing. Not a twitch. I ended up passing it over to The Monkey in case it was me but he got nothing either just a bit of blue flame over the fur on his paw. So, we left the Tower and went back to the hotel to have a think and talk to the Nerds and the Prof.

There is a whole argument going on amongst them now as to what to look for and where to go. We are all wondering if there is not some ritual involved which we have no idea about. But the Monster Highs have chipped in with their usual laser intuition. They think the finger will probably just point at what it wants to point at regardless and the whole altering time thing is far more likely to require a convoluted ritual. They also think we should take the finger out with us on a little tour of London. They suggest the tube as a starting place, seems they spent a few years in London during the time of the construction of the Thames Tunnel and they reckon some strange stuff went on that would be worth checking out. I have just Googled the date for the construction of the Thames Tunnel – it was finished in 1843! Raises even more questions about the girls, not sure if I’m worried or aroused, or a bit of both…

We are going to go for a little ride – should be a bit quieter by now…

7 August

We trawled round the tube lines yesterday evening and again today. There was a possible bit of twitchiness from the finger on a couple of occasions but nothing we could really be sure about, and certainly nothing we could get to easily.

Speaking to Kev on the phone this afternoon he said that the black hole is still pointing at the Scottish mountains and this raised the question – is there still something there we need to find? Could it be the thing we have been looking for in London? What if the U-boat was on the way back from London? Bollocks. It would also explain why the Apache turned up and tried to fuck us up. The Green and Red Society did warn us the locations that the black hole takes us to would also be of interest to the Illuminati and their friends.

The Monkey thinks it’s funny. We are going to go for a drink again tonight and then think about going home tomorrow. We will take the finger out with us on the off chance that it does something interesting. Oh well, made a change I suppose…

8 August

Holy shit we got bent out of shape last night! We started off in Leicester Square and I remember being in Tiger Tiger for a bit but after that nothing, and The Monkey is pretty sketchy on the whole evening as well. When I finally came to it had gone 1.00pm, I found I was sporting a split lip and The Monkey was curled up hugging an ornate spear point. I woke him up and asked him what the hell it was and where it had come from, and he looked as surprised as I was that he was having a cuddle with the business end of a spear.

As we tried our best to get our shit together to catch our train home at 3.45pm The Monkey started to remember something about a museum. I put the finger on the table about two feet away from the spear head and it span round to point at it. It had obviously signalled us during our drunken rampage and taken us somewhere we shouldn’t have been. We speeded up and got out of the broken hotel room as soon as we could, if we had burgled a museum we would need to be away before anyone realised it was us…

The train is nearly back at Truro now and I have just about stopped feeling sick. The Monkey has slept most of the way but still looks well rough. Haven’t been able to piece together what happened last night. Don’t even know which museum it was although the closest one to where we started was the British Museum. I am trying not to think too hard about it – my head still hurts too much…

10 August

The Nerds first thought was that the spear point was an ornamental one off some railings – probably the ones around the museum – but ornamental railings are generally not sharp enough to shave with and this bad boy is razor sharp as Dave found out when he ran his thumb down its edge. The Monster Highs came in as Dave was shoving his now bleeding thumb in his mouth to try and stem the bleeding. They raised perfectly shaped eyebrows at his predicament and then they saw the spear point lying on the table. I have never seen the girls show fear, but this was something like it. They backed away from the table at a run and stood wide eyed in the doorway, snarls twisting their beautiful lips. We all just stopped and stared at them – this was a bit unexpected.

It took us a while to coax them back into the room and we had to move the spear point over by the window. The Monkey asked them what was up and they asked us what we were doing with the Spear of Lugh. Ah, my interest in Celtic stuff reared its ugly head again. The Spear of Lugh, another of the treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann, this one was supposed to make whoever carried it invincible in battle – Hitler would have enjoyed that one! But why were the girls so freaked out? Well, seems it could seriously fuck them up if they touch it. Apparently, it is a weapon of the sun, and as we know, they don’t play well in the sun. I remembered what the Mao Shan sorcerer had said to me about all the objects of power coming online as the vortexes controlled by the one in the monkey temple flicked on and synced up. I mentioned Joseph Campbell’s The Hero with a Thousand Faces, which I had read years ago, and how, as the sorcerer had hinted, maybe all of these myths and legends and sacred objects had a common source in human collective history. The girls looked at me as if I had said something so blindingly obvious that I should probably be ashamed of myself, but I ignored them and satisfied myself with the nods of agreement from the Nerds. We watched the news lots but there was no mention of any daring midnight raids on London museums or even fumbling, pisshead smash and grabs (far more likely). Is it being covered up? Maybe we got in and out without leaving a trail a deaf and blind donkey couldn’t miss, and maybe the spear point was in a place where it has not yet been missed? Don’t know, and as long as our pissed-up faces aren’t all over the news as stills from CCTV I don’t much care. We have the spear point now and that’s cool, we may well need it when we go back through the black hole to look for the cauldron in the U-boat. Perhaps there is nothing there, perhaps they were on the way to London and never made it, but we need to know if there is anything there that could aid our enemies…

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