You are currently viewing Sweet dreams aren’t made of this

Sweet dreams aren’t made of this

10 June

We were in a bar in town and I got a text message – ‘Leave NOW!’ I quickly showed it to The Monkey and we legged it. We went into one of the shops a few hundred metres away and watched as two police vans pulled up outside the bar and a whole squad of riot-gear-wearing cops exited and rushed in. Other cops secured the street and we saw them begin to bring out everyone in the bar in handcuffs and put them into the back of two more wagons that had arrived shortly after the others. They took everyone, including the staff, and then sealed the bar and left a couple of officers outside while the others all piled back into their vans and drove off. Whole thing took no more than twenty minutes. The Monkey pointed out that some of the cops had sidearms…

We left town and went to a bar on the beach closer to home. I checked out the message, but it had scrambled into a meaningless bunch of characters and numbers, plus the number it had been sent from was showing as blocked. We have no idea who sent it or what the raid was about. When we got home, we asked the Nerds to take a look at the message and they are still scratching their heads over how it could be effectively erased like that, it’s the sort of thing they set up with their covert emails. We are all wondering if me and The Monkey were the targets of the raid or whether we were just in the right place at the right time…

11 June

The Monkey did a bit of asking around to find out what the story is with the bar raid yesterday. The informed rumour is that it was a drugs raid and possible firearms seizure. From our experience that bar has never been like that – The Monkey says he would love to be able to get all that good stuff close to home. Looks like an excuse to me. Were they after us?

Black hole still showing nothing but black. The Green and Red have reported that there is no evidence of digging at the monkey temple although they did say that it is so badly smashed in it is hard to tell.

House feels empty with the girls and the Nerds gone. Oh well, looks like a drunken Xbox session is on the cards…

13 June

Bad dreams. We have all been having them. Darkness, and an overwhelming sense of dread. Being chased or rather hunted. Arno Whitaker’s demented grin… I asked The Monkey if he had been having them and he just said that we shouldn’t eat cheese before going to bed. Wanker… The Nerds have been particularly bad with Kev suffering the most. I phoned the Monster Highs to find out if they were okay, but they said that they never dream.

Tried to do some physical stuff today to chase away the nightmares but because we hadn’t slept much it didn’t last long. The training session was a bit half-hearted and in the end The Monkey suggested that we just go for a drink at the local and then those who needed it could try to get some shut eye. Sound idea but when the Nerds nodded off, they were awake pretty quickly having had the same sort of dreams again.

I think this evening The Monkey has a film fest planned along with booze, curry, and I believe there may be a bong involved. He has a very practical, simplistic way of dealing with problems like this – if you can’t kill it then render it comatose with drink and/or drugs…

14 June

Tired…

Chemicals didn’t work well, just sort of gave all the crazy nightmare images a glowing edge. We spent hours watching Adventure Time – okay, it’s a kid’s cartoon but it’s pretty cool and very weird. The Monkey stayed up with us for moral support, and of course to drink…

Today we have mostly drunk coffee and tried to work out what the connection (if any) is between my sense of being watched, the message warning us about the raid, and the bad dreams. Tony thinks it is all coincidence but like The Monkey always says – there is no such thing as coincidence. The other Nerds have a different theory. Seems they have heard of a remote observation system that involves the use of focused energy beams to view/listen in on a target. This is a bone of contention between the three of them as it seems to be highly experimental and there are apparently many valid reasons why it shouldn’t work. But if it does work then it could be disrupting our sleep patterns and causing my paranoia. There is also rumour that it could be used to project images into people’s brains… Doesn’t explain why The Monkey isn’t affected though but that could be the whole monkey god thing again.

Dave suggested that we should ask the neighbours if they were having problems, so we have just done a quick casual round of the houses nearby and guess what – those closest to us are having problems sleeping…

15 June

Just in case you need to know – it’s hard to sleep in a tin foil hat and you look like a twat. The Monkey has just about shat himself laughing…

16 June

Another anonymous text, this one said, ‘Do not drive past the base.’ I picked it up just as we were driving away from home and had turned down the road that runs alongside the airfield. We pulled over and after a quick discussion decided to drop the car back at the house and then go on foot along the path through the woods that runs parallel to the road.

We got to opposite the service road that intersects the main road and there, through the trees, we could see two black Range Rovers. Looked like a couple of guys on foot talking to the occupants of a car they had flagged down. These guys weren’t in black suits but were wearing black tactical gear. After a couple of minutes, they waved the car on and flagged down the next one that was coming from the same direction. We watched for about three quarters of an hour and then suddenly they were listening to the earpieces they wore and talking into their radio mics and then they jumped back into the Range Rovers and headed off down the road.

The Monkey sat for quite a while just staring after the black vehicles, eventually he lit up a cigar and we trudged back along the path in silence. When he spoke, he simply said ‘Pity we didn’t have the AA-12s.’

We drove out of the back of the village and went the long way avoiding the base perimeter. We had been going down to Falmouth and didn’t see any reason to change our plans. We met a contact of The Monkey’s at the docks and he passed us a bit of kit in a large black waterproof dry sack. We dropped it off in the car and then found somewhere to eat and drink. The bit of kit we are told, is a micro frequency disruptor that is used for fucking up listening and other surveillance equipment. The Monkey has borrowed it from some Russian friends. The tin foil hats were just a comedy of errors. They sort of worked but were hard to keep on and keep intact. There were various attempts including wearing one under a woolly hat (very sweaty) and gaffa taping one on (painful, painful removal process), but they did provide for a better night’s sleep until they got ripped and mangled. I think that The Monkey couldn’t take another night of laughing that hard – nob head.

I was intrigued to know how The Monkey had Russian friends, especially the type of friends who could supply high tech jamming kit. He asked me if I remembered that time he went out clubbing and I got all special needs when he came back pissed, ‘Yes…’ I said, trying not to rise to the bait. Well, it seems he met a bunch of Russian sailors in the club and when they found out he had grown up onboard ship they just adopted him. After many drinks and much trouble making, they all agreed that they were best mates and that if The Monkey ever needed anything, especially anything military grade, he should give them a call. They said that they would be stationed down at Falmouth for the foreseeable future as they had some projects to be getting on with. So, they typed their numbers into his phone and there you go. The Monkey showed me the numbers and a few photos of the night out on his phone. Christ on a bike, I rarely get to see his phone and as he scrolled through some of the pictures on there I am quite glad that I have been blissfully ignorant! The one of him in porn star mode with his teddy bear will haunt me for quite a while.

We have switched the disruptor on and are relaxing in front of Tears of the Sun with a Jack or two. Hopefully I will get a better night’s sleep tonight if I can blot out those phone images. Oh, and the text message scrambled itself again…

Leave a Reply